


i'm half-doomed and you're semi-sweet

by locrianrose



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Can you get god drunk?, Didn't Know They Were Dating, F/F, F/M, First Dates, Lack of Communication, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 06:48:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28467096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/locrianrose/pseuds/locrianrose
Summary: Hubert is damn sure this isn't a date of any kind. Edelgard is confused.Byleth isn't sure if she can get drunk and doesn't know if she should worry about it at this point, or if she should just take it and run.
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg/Hubert von Vestra, Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth, Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth/Hubert von Vestra, My Unit | Byleth/Hubert von Vestra
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20





	i'm half-doomed and you're semi-sweet

“You’re sure that taking her out with us is a good idea?” Hubert asked, frowning slightly at Edelgard as she carefully checked her hair in the mirror. “She seems less than prepared for such an environment.”

“It should be fine.” Edelgard said. “She said she wanted to see more of the town, and this is a good way to show her.”

“And this has nothing to do with your feelings for her.” Hubert stated.

“What if it does?” Edelgard challenged.

Hubert exhaled.

“Fine.” He pulled into the driveway of the suburban house that Edelgard had directed him to. “You said her uncle lives here?”

“I did. Dimitri and I took her with to lunch the other day.”

“You didn’t tell me.” Hubert said, laughably insulted that she hadn’t told him. He knew Edelgard was under no obligation to tell him what her plans were, but his exclusion— especially when he’d been replaced by Dimitri— hurt.

“You don’t like Dimitri.”

“I thought you didn’t like Dimitri.”

“He’s not that bad.” Edelgard said. “As far as step brothers go, it could have been worse.”

“You should go knock.” Hubert said, pointing at the front window where another green haired woman was peering out.

“I will.” Edelgard nodded, and opened her door. “I’ll be right back.”

Hubert watched as the face at the window disappeared, and Edelgard climbed the steps to knock on the door. Edelgard was as well put together as always, carefully styled and prepared for a night out with friends.

Hubert was far from keen on Byleth’s inclusion in their night out, and he didn’t enjoy Edelgard paying the attention that had previously been his to a newcomer. Edelgard was under no obligation to contain her attention to him, but with his sudden loss of her time, he’d been forced to realize how much he did miss it.

And the tale of how they’d found Byleth— Edelgard and Dimitri had gone hiking with another classmate from their History 1010 class and stumbled upon the woman lost in the mountains, looking like she’d been up there for far too long. She’d been near silent the entire time they’d brought her down and checked her into the hospital, and Hubert had been dubious about the convenience of her uncle showing up within a day and bringing her home when she’d claimed to not remember what had happened to bring her there.

When Edelgard opened the door, it opened nearly immediately, Byleth standing at the door. Her uncle was looming behind her, and he spoke for a good minute with her and Edelgard before Byleth managed to tug Edelgard down the stairs, waving goodbye to him.

Her uncle taught at the same college Edelgard and Hubert attended, overseeing several of the higher level history classes. Seteth Rhodos was notoriously strict and old fashioned, with his daughter attending occasional classes.

Edelgard and Byleth talked for a moment outside the car before Edelgard opened the back door for Byleth, letting her sit before settling in the front by Hubert. He could see how Edelgard blushed as she did.

“Hello, Hubert.” Byleth stated carefully. “Thank you for inviting me to come along.”

“Edelgard insisted.” Hubert said.

Edelgard shot him a look.

Hubert backed the car carefully out of the driveway, ignoring her glare.

“Where are we going?” Byleth asked.

“We’re meeting Ferdinand, Dorothea, and Caspar at the Ashen Wolves.” Edelgard replied. “It’s a little dingier, but it’s got a good atmosphere.”

Byleth nodded. “No Petra, Linhardt, or Bernadetta?”

“Petra has work, and Bernadetta wouldn’t typically be caught dead at a bar.” Edelgard explained. “It’s too late for Linhardt to be out.”

Hubert adjusted the radio, setting it to play quietly in the background.

“I haven’t been to a bar yet.” Byleth said.

“Have you drank?” Edelgard asked, pausing.

“A little. Some wine with Seteth and Flayn, and once with Claude.”

Edelgard’s expression darkened slightly at the mention of Claude.

“How did you hold your alcohol?”Hubert asked. Edelgard tended to get tipsy fairly quickly, and if he’d need to keep an eye on Byleth as well he wanted to know in advance.

“Well.” She replied. “I do get tipsy, but it seemed to take a bit.”

“Caspar might try to challenge you.” Edelgard interjected. “He can make it fairly well in, but if you agree he’ll end up blackout drunk and we’ll have to call Linhardt. Try to say no in advance.”

Byleth nodded.

“If he gets going, then Ferdinand will join in.” Edelgard continued. “And Ferdinand gets drunk too fast.”

“What about Dorothea?” Byleth asked.

“She holds it better than most of us.” Edelgard said.

“Nearly there.” Hubert said, turning around the corner, making his way to the parking lot down the street.

He carefully parked his car, turning it off and exiting the car. Edelgard followed, but Byleth hesitated for a moment, before removing her jacket and settling it down in the back seat.

“I don’t think I’ll need it.” She said to Hubert and Edelgard, and for a moment, they both stared.

Byleth was fit. Hubert wasn’t sure what she did or where she worked, but whatever it was, it looked good. Where Edelgard was soft curves, Byleth was built solidly, and for whatever reason, was wearing a sports bra under a vest that looked akin to something one would wear when doing some kind of outdoor activity with far too many pockets

Hubert had good idea of at least what Edelgard saw in Byleth physically, and it was none of his business if Byleth looked like the kind of woman who would be able to take Caspar down in a fight.

Hubert cleared his throat, and Edelgard looked away from Byleth and to him

“Should we head in?”

“Oh! Yes.” Edelgard nodded. “It should be fine inside, and you can always come grab it.”

“Sounds good.” Byleth said. “Lead the way.”

Edelgard looked like she was going to reach for Byleth’s hand for a moment, hesitating, before Byleth linked her arm with Edelgard’s.

“Just right up here.” Edelgard said as Byleth led her over to Hubert.

Hubert was far from prepared for what Byleth’s next action as she mirrored what she’d done with Edelgard, deftly linking her other arm in his.

Hubert rapidly looked over to Edelgard, looking down over Byleth’s head to Edelgard’s shorter, trying to decide what to do, but his arm was still firmly linked in Byleth’s as she moved on, so Hubert moved with them, vaguely uncomfortable at the sudden physical contact from a near stranger. Byleth felt strong, something that intimidated and (as much as he’d be reluctant to admit such a thing) aroused him.

“It’s this one.” Edelgard tipped her head towards the bar.

Byleth slipped her arms out of theirs, opening the door and holding it for them. Hubert followed Edelgard in, and then Byleth let the door shut.

“Hey Edelgard, Hubert!” Balthus exclaimed. “You’re bringing a friend.” He looked Byleth over. “You got your ID?”

“Yes.” Byleth nodded, digging through one of her many pockets, extracting a card. “Here.”

Balthus glanced at it, then jerked his head towards the bar. “You’re good. Edelgard, you’re going to have to introduce her to Yuri. Glad to see you two found someone good to tag along.” 

“Thank you, Balthus.” Edelgard said. “Is anyone else here?”

“None of your usual crowd yet.”

Edelgard nodded, moving towards the bar, Byleth trailing behind Edelgard, and Hubert behind her.

“What do you want to drink?” Edelgard asked Byleth.

“I’m not sure.” Byleth said. “Do either of you have a suggestion?”

“I tend to drink whatever’s light.” Edelgard said. “They have a few craft beers that I like.”

“What’s strong?” Byleth asked.

“I can set you up with something.” The man working the bar said. “But I don’t sell the strongest stuff to new customers till I know they can take it.”

“Yuri.” Hubert nodded.

“Hubert, Edelgard.” Yuri nodded back. “And you are?”

“Byleth.” Byleth offered a hand, which Yuri shook.

“I can vouch for her.”

Hubert glanced over, frowning as he saw Claude sitting down the bar.

“You’ve seen her drink?” Yuri asked.

“She out drank me.” Claude said.

Yuri studied Byleth, and Hubert wondered if Edelgard knew what she was getting into.

“Fine. I’ll mix something strong up. Edelgard, the usual?”

“Yes.”

“Hubert, are you drinking?” Yuri asked.

“I’ll take an Amaretto Sour.”

“I’ll get those for you.” Yuri said, turning away as he began to mix their drinks.

“So Byleth,” Edelgard began, “have things been going well?”

Byleth nodded, sitting down at the bar as she waited. “Seteth’s been trying to help me find work, but I’ve been talking at some of the gyms in town. I think I’m going to have more luck there than any of the jobs he’s suggested.”

“Where have you applied?” Edelgard slid her card to Hapi, allowing the woman to set up their tab.

“Only at a couple so far, but I had an interview last week that went well.” Byleth said. “Things are still a little fuzzy, but Seteth and Flayn have been good help.”

“How were you related to Seteth?” Hubert asked.

“He’s my uncle.” Byleth said. “Mother’s brother.”

“And you didn’t remember him?”

Yuri was listening closely behind the bar as he passed over Edelgard’s beer, moving on to Byleth’s drink.

“Not well.” Byleth said. “Enough to know him and Flayn. I’ve been seeing a doctor who’s trying to help me remember more.”

“That’s good.” Edelgard interjected, shooting Hubert a look that was undoubtedly meant to stop his questions.

“True.” Hubert said, eyeing the drink Yuri passed to Byleth with distaste.

Byleth took a sip, smacking her lips experimentally.

“Not too bad. What’s it got in it?”

“Death in the Afternoon.” Yuri said. “Absinthe, wine, lemon.”

“Want a sip?” Byleth offered her glass to Edelgard and Hubert.

Edelgard hesitantly took it, taking a sip before grimacing.

“That’s awfully bitter.”

“Hubert?” Byleth asked.

“I’d prefer to stick to my own drink.” Hubert said, accepting it as Yuri passed it to him. “Shall we claim a table?”

“Sounds good.” Byleth took another sip.

“I think you’re going to want to take that slowly.” Edelgard said.

“Noted.” Byleth replied, settling into a corner booth. “But I have a few questions that Flayn made me swear to ask before any of us get tipsy.”

“What were they?” Edelgard asked.

“About Ferdinand. She said she has a class with him?”

“That sounds right.” Hubert replied.

“Flayn said she’d disown me if I didn’t find out if he was involved with anyone.” Byleth stated dryly.

“Is she… interested?” Edelgard asked hesitantly. “In Ferdinand?”

“She said something about running into him between classes.”

“I believe I know what you mean.” Hubert said slowly. There had been a frantic story from Ferdinand about literally running into one of the professors children in the form of a terrified phone call that had come when Hubert had been attempting to study.

“Not at the moment.” Edelgard said slowly, nursing her beer. “I can’t say I’d recommenced dating him, but if she’s interested he is available.”

Byleth took another sip. “How soon should I feel this?”

“I’d say soon.” Edelgard said.

Byleth nodded.

Hubert felt his phone buzz, extracting it to examine the screen.

“Dorothea isn’t feeling well, and Ferdinand needed to do homework. Caspar didn’t want to come alone, so he’s gone to pester Linhardt.

“Oh.” Edelgard frowned. “I’m sorry, Byleth. I wanted you to be able to see everyone.”

“I don’t mind.” Byleth said, placing a careful hand on Edelgard’s. “I don’t mind spending the evening with you two.”

Edelgard blushed, and as Hubert took a sip, he wondered why Byleth had included him in that statement when Edelgard was obviously the one interested in her.

Byleth lifted her hand, reaching for her glass and taking what would be better described as a gulp than a sip.

“I just didn’t think that you were both interested. I’m not sure how long you two have been together, but I was pleased to be asked out.”

Hubert froze, mid sip, choking on his drink. He and Edelgard—

“What?” Edelgard asked, looking at Byleth, and with a sinking feeling in his stomach, Hubert realized from her tone that her beer had already started to go to her head.

“You two are together, right?” Byleth asked, the look on her face akin to that of a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car.

Hubert could feel his cheeks burning. This wasn’t the time for this to be brought up, this wasn’t the place or time for any of this to come up, and he wasn’t ready to face Edelgard’s lack of attraction to him at this moment.

“Oh, we’re not—”

Hubert stood.

“I’m taking a walk.” He gulped a sip of his drink, grateful for once how easy it was to swallow down the sugary sour taste.

Byleth was shrinking down into her seat as if she’d realized what she’d done wrong. Edelgard stood, moving to follow after him, but Hubert strode ahead, moving out of the bar and pushing past Balthus.

“Hey, buddy, take it easy!” Balthus called after him.

Hubert didn’t respond, walking rapidly away.

“Hubert!” Byleth called after him. “Hey, Hubert!”

Hubert spun on his heels, glaring at her.

“What do you want?” He spat at her. “What do you need?”

Byleth met his glare with her own. “I fucked up.” She said. “But I didn’t know.”

“How could you not know?” Hubert hissed back. “How could you not—”

“You’re always together. She talks about you when I’m there and you’re not.” Byleth began.

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“You look at her like it does.” Byleth argued. “And she’s always trying to make sure that you’re taken care of.”

“Why would you think that we’d want you if we had each other?” Hubert argued in return. That seemed to hurt her, so he pressed on. “If I had her— and if she cared for me that way, you think that we’d even look at you?”

“I saw you looking at me.” Byleth challenged, glaring daggers at him. “Both of you. Are you telling me you don’t look at her that way?”

Hubert felt his cheeks flush. “That doesn’t matter.”

“Why not? If I was right, that you care about her, and you both could be interested in me—”

“She doesn’t see me that way.” Hubert forced the words out. “She hasn’t, and never will.”

“How do you know?” Byleth stated, taking a step towards Hubert. “Have you ever actually asked her?”

“I could never.”

“Then get in there and do it.” Byleth ordered, pointing back to the bar. “I told her I’d bring you back. I’m not going to lie to her.”

“You can’t make me.”

“Do you want me to?” Byleth asked, stepping forward again. “Because you need to talk to her. I’m not letting you storm out on her.”

Hubert forced down the mental image that her words spawned in his mind, burying the idea of her forcing him to Edelgard and how her hands would feel on him, swallowing heavily.

“Talk to her.” Byleth’s voice softened. “You might have more of a chance than you know.”

“Fine.” Hubert said. “I’ll tell her.”

“Good.” Byleth linked her arm in his again, and Hubert let her tug him forward, pulling him back to the bar.

As they entered the door, Balthus looked at Hubert dubiously.

“You okay buddy?” Balthus asked.

“No.” Hubert swallowed, spotting Edelgard sitting at their table, now nursing his own abandoned drink.

“He’ll be fine.” Byleth said, continuing to pull him over to the table. “Sit.” She ordered, and Hubert slid back in to the booth next to Edelgard, careful to give her space.

Edelgard looked up to him as he did, and Hubert hesitated at the look of nervousness in her eyes. Byleth followed Hubert in, taking another swallow of her abandoned drink.

“Edelgard.” Hubert stated, waiting till she set his drink down before taking it from her, swallowing the remainder rapidly.

“Hubert has something to say.” Byleth said.

“I—” Hubert forced himself to look at Edelgard. “—I have cared deeply for you, for longer than you can know. I would never have told you. I could not have done that.”

Edelgard didn’t say anything, reaching for Byleth’s drink before Byleth nudged her hand away.

“No. I don’t think you should drink this.” Byleth said.

Edelgard looked down at the table.

“Why did you think we were together?” She asked Byleth.

“You were always together.” Byleth said. “Whenever you did something, you wanted to see what Hubert was doing first. He looked at you like the two of you were together. You said you’d slept over at his apartment more than once.”

“I trust Hubert.” Edelgard said, voice slurring slightly as she looked at him. “I trust you.” She placed a hand on his, and Hubert cursed the alcohol for making him flush. “But I didn’t think you were ever interested.”

“I would never have done anything inappropriate.”

Edelgard buried her face in her hands. “I walked into your room in the middle of the night in my underwear and a blanket and said I was cold.” She paused, making a noise that Hubert was inclined to believe was a laugh. “You said you’d turn up the thermostat.”

“You were half asleep.” Hubert said firmly. “I wasn’t going to do anything then.”

“I thought about that for a month before I did it.” Edelgard reached for Byleth’s drink again, poking her head up.

“Nope.” Byleth said again, swallowing more of the alcohol. “I think I’m starting to feel it.”

“I assumed—” Hubert began, then broke off. “I believe we should discuss this when we are all sober.”

“Or we could talk about it now.” Byleth said, reaching across Hubert to grab Edelgard’s hand. “Or you two can. I can call Flayn.” 

Edelgard looked hesitantly at Hubert.

“I am sorry for what I said outside.” Hubert looked over to Byleth.

“I should have asked before I said what I did.” Byleth shrugged. “It made sense to be upset. Tell you both what. I’ll call Flayn, and once the two of you know where you stand, give me another call if you want. I’ll take you two out if you’d like.”

Byleth swallowed the last of her drink.

“Can you two get a ride home?” She asked.

“I will text Dorothea.” Hubert said.

“Good.” Byleth pulled out her phone, painstakingly dialing out a number, then putting it to her ear. “Flayn? Can you come pick me up?” She paused. “Yes, I found out what you needed—Yes, I’m fine— I’ll text you the address—No, I’ll tell you when you’re here.”

Edelgard had edged closer to Hubert, and he hesitantly placed a hand on her leg as she did.

“Alright.” Byleth said as she ended the call. “What’s the address?”

Hubert informed her, and Byleth sent the message.

“Now. Like I said, call me if you want. If you don’t, no hard feelings.” Byleth stood, staggering slightly as she left the table.

“Can you make it to the door?” Edelgard asked, a little breathless as she stared at Byleth.

“I’ll be fine.” Byleth nodded. “You two text me when you make it home.”

Hubert, far more sober than Edelgard, nodded, watching as Byleth picked her way to the door, carefully navigating the room before exiting with a wave to Balthus.

“I can’t believe you thought I was just cold.” Edelgard muttered to Hubert. “I dressed up for that.”

“I had no idea.” Hubert replied. He’d done his best to scrub that memory from his mind out of respect for Edelgard, but now, to have it brought up again—

“I had been interested. I thought you were, but I didn’t know. I thought if you were, then you’d do something.”

“Perhaps we should communicate what we want more readily.” Hubert said.

Edelgard nodded tiredly.

“Do you want her?” She said, gesturing towards the door that Byleth had left through.

“I believe so.” Hubert stated as evenly as he could. “Do you?”

“Yes.” Edelgard replied, leaning on Hubert as she did. “Did you see her arms?”

“I, ah, did.” Hubert said.

“And her tits.” Edelgard continued. “What you’ve got is nice, Hubert,” She patted his crotch, and Hubert jumped, praying that she wouldn’t zero in on the stiffness there. “But she’s got tits.” Edelgard paused.

“Do you want to touch mine?” Edelgard tilted her head at him, the look in her eyes now akin to the aggression he only normally saw when she challenged Ferdinand to a game of Mario Kart.

“I would be more than willing to.” Hubert said. “Allow me to text Dorothea, and once you’re home, we’ll see how you feel.”

“You’ll see how my tits feel.” Edelgard muttered. “Like pillows.”

Hubert coughed loudly as he pulled out his phone, texting Dorothea. Tonight would be interesting.

**Author's Note:**

> title from disloyal order of water buffaloes by fall out boy.  
> wanted to post one thing for my three houses ot3 before the new year here


End file.
